Trying to stay positive...

I am feeling anxious, excited and scared about going to see the reproductive endocrinologist. I was googling the doctor that we have our appointment with and he was actually named our area's top fertility specialist this year so I am feeling pretty confident in the choice of doctor that my OB referred us to so that is good. I am just scared to death that I have endometriosis, but I keep thinking that my OB who has checked me out like 3 or 4 times in the past 6 months would have said something by now. It is really highly unlikely that I have it, I of course just keep thinking the worst.

In a situation such as infertility it is so important to stay optimistic, and I feel like I am having an ongoing battle with myself to stay positive. It comes naturally to my husband, being positive, and of course I find that annoying! I want to be like that too so I get annoyed at him because he is what I'm not and I get annoyed at myself because it shouldn't be so difficult to be positive like him. Then I'm just sitting there feeling like we are never going to have a baby and just generally being miserable to be around and smoke is pouring out my ears because I'm trying so hard to stay positive... Yes, last night was just a hoot, let's hope I can pull myself together so we can have a better one tonight.