The two weeks of emotion...

For all of you women out there who are trying to have a baby, you know all about the two week wait. I swear this may be the worst one that I've ever had! This time I am excited to get my period so that we can look around my uterus and see exactly what is going on in there. Usually, I have a lump in the pit of my stomach the entire two weeks, there is a little hope but I always have the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. This time it is different, I am waiting for something that I know is going to happen. There is no anxiety attached to not knowing whether or not I'm getting my period, I know that it is coming and I'm looking forward to it like I did my wedding day!

It is just funny how much emotion a person can attach to an event or an object. I guess that is a part of what makes us human, but sometimes I just wish I could shut my emotions off. They can get the best of me and totally carry me away, and I often get really angry at myself for feeling so strongly about inconsequential things. I used to think that my hormones played a large roll in why I can be so emotional, but after a conversation with my husband (who believes that they have nothing to do with my emotions as he has yet to see a pattern emerge) I think that they just amplify emotions that are already extremely close to the surface. I think my monthly changing hormone levels make it so that I simply have less control of my emotions. I can absolutely control them most of the time during the month, but it takes a conscious effort, when I have PMS I just don't have a chance in hell of checking my emotions at the door. I just wish I could be different, not so emotional, and more stoic. But hey, this must be what makes me so fun and exciting!?