Too much TV...

I cannot stop watching every show that I can get my hands on about pregnant women on TV. The discovery health channel is punishing me with it's line up of "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant," "A Baby Story," and "Bringing Home Baby," plus specials on people who have had multiples or just crazy things that happen like this 75 year-old middle eastern woman who had a 45 year-old calcified fetus in her abdomen and I am the freak who can't get enough!

I said to my husband yesterday, "I've got to stop watching this stuff!" And he just looked at me like, DUH! I can't help it though! Plus I can get such an emotional reaction to some of the stories, case in point there is a show called "Pregnant and Addicted." I would highly recommend NOT watching that if you are struggling with fertility issues because all it did was piss me off. This poor woman who was previously addicted to heroin, found herself pregnant (with her SECOND child) while in the beginning stages of her methadone treatment and doctors recommended staying on the methadone as withdraw symptoms can cause spontaneous abortion and other just as terrible things. But staying on the methadone is only the lesser of the two evils and the baby could still be born with some pretty serious developmental problems and most likely addicted to the methadone like the mother so the baby would have to go through terrible withdraw symptoms that can last up to a month. And all I did was sit there and think to myself how unfair the world is. I just want one baby that I could provide a great home for and this woman has two children unintentionally and is struggling to care for either of them. Sitting there full of jealousy, anger at the world and anger at my body just made me disgusted with myself for feeling that way. I know I am only human and I know I am doing my best with our situation but sometimes my best is pretty embarrassing.