Where have I been...?!

Soooo...I've been MIA lately. I have no excuse, I just ran out of steam this month. Since my period was a day late, I kept hoping that the tests were all wrong and I really was pregnant. As usual no such luck, and I then just lost my momentum. The second I got my period, it was like I hit a wall. I didn't have the total meltdown that I've had in months past, but I just lost all my happy feelings. I hate it when I don't feel optimistic, but you can't fake it when it just isn't there and I didn't want to keep blogging about how crappy I was feeling. You don't want to read it, I don't want to write it and I think the more I feed into those crappy feelings the less inclined they are to go away. So, I took a little break and now I am feeling better.

We did start another cycle with our doctors this month. I just started taking the clomid yesterday, and then I go in on Monday for another little biopsy to check and make sure the bacteria that I had is gone and they will probably give me the trigger shot then. One thing is for sure, when working with the doctors the months really go fast. It might just feel like they do because I can give myself little milestone markers to check off as we go along, with the dates of ultrasounds and blood work and when to take the clomid and whatnot. Working with the doctors definitely helps me feel less isolated and alone which is nice as well. The best part about working with the doctors is that somehow there has been some sort of a miracle and my menstrual cramps were so light and manageable this month I almost passed out from shock rather than pain!

I honestly do not know what it is that is relieving the pain. It could be the prenatal vitamins because I did read that a combination of B vitamins can sometimes help alleviate cramps, it could be the clomid, or maybe even the antibiotic (to get rid of the bacteria) I guess. I hope that it is the prenatal vitamins, I would love to have a repeat of this months period next month. It was heavenly, I didn't miss a beat and I wasn't strapped to my heating pad for a week. So, at least I got a cramp free period bonus for not being pregnant, it really could have been worse!