It has been a while...

I know, I know. It has been a while since I've posted. The reason is because I have become a little bogged down with self pity and I don't want to share that with all of you. As you have all figured out by now, last month on the injections and IUI did not work. It actually had the opposite effect, if that is even possible, because I ended up with 2 large cysts in my left ovary which means that no injections or IUI for this cycle. So we are skipping this cycle and then next cycle it will be back to the injections and IUI for a second time. After that it will probably be one or two more cycles and if we are still unsuccessful we will be moving on to IVF.

I have a feeling that IVF is going to be in our future, as the statistics just aren't in our favor. After the 4th round of IUI the possibilities of conception are pretty slim and for a woman who is under 35 with no major ovulation problems and unexplained infertility, IUI statistically doesn't work very well at all. So here I am, a woman for whom IUI statistically shouldn't work very well and I'll be on my 5th round of IUI next cycle...I'd say my chances are pretty slim. But I'm okay with that and I'm letting IVF become a very real possibility in my mind.

So, as I take this month off from the blood work and ultrasounds and injections and IUI, I am also going to take this month off from the blogging world. I'm going to enjoy this time in my life right now, and I'm not going to think about what is past or what might be in the future. I'm just going to recharge my batteries and come back stronger than ever and I would suggest that you all do the same! The holiday season is upon us and everyone in our infertility boat should mentally take this time off! Focus on what makes you happy, even if it is just until the holidays are over and we'll all come back rested and ready to conquer infertility once and for all!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!

A change in the game...

Ok everybody! We have moved on to injections instead of the clomid! We are going to start using the follistim pen this evening, it seems pretty easy to use and I think that lots of people use this system when moving on to injections. Our goal on the injections is the same as our goal on the clomid, we want to get 2-3 mature follicles and then we'll do the trigger shot and then IUI. Why move to the injections when I was (sometimes) getting those results with the clomid? Well, because I'm not pregnant! :) For starters the clomid didn't always work as we wanted it to and the injections are much more potent so I should for sure get 2-3 follicles each cycle, and also because as the lovely KB explained to me, with the injections the doctor has much more control over the actual ovulation.

The clomid tells your body to produce more FSH, with the injection we are cutting out the middle man and just injecting in straight FSH. Instead of butchering what KB told me, I'm just going to cut and paste so you can all read her exact words when explaining why we use the injections.

"So, here is how the injections were described to me and how they are different. My dr. said he thought the problem was in my brain. Basically there is a "path" our bodies follow. Menstruation, Ovulation, then back again. But with lots of ups and downs of hormones in between. Usually most women's cycles follow this on a similar path each month. He said your pituitary gland and hypothalamus work together to make this work. Some women, like myself, have a problem with the hypothalamus that causes this path to get off track, hormones to be different and basically for the cycle not to work the way it should. My path gets lost! So my brain loses signals which causes hormones not to rise like they should which causes me not to ovulate or to have late ovulation or a weak one. Well clomid worked to try and get that signal working with fsh. And I did ovulate but not strong. Well, with using injections, your Dr. is your brain! He told me my brain could stay out on vacation because they were now going to give me the hormones, control their levels and basically function as my brain. Clomid was a pill you took and then you had to sit back and have ultrasounds to see what happened. With these, he can monitor your ovaries, your hormones and your cycle. He can control how many eggs are produced and what your ovaries and hormones are doing by adjusting levels of the injections. So nothing is up to your body anymore, its up to the Dr.! So everything is off of your back!"

Thank you KB! Now, obviously every woman is different, and even KB and I are different. So, my dose starting out will be 75 on the follistim pen but for KB I'm sure it was different because we have slightly different ovulation issues. The basic idea of controlling the cycle and controlling the ovulation is the same for every woman, but the dosages will be different. And that 75 is just our starting out number, which may need to be adjusted as we continue on which is why your blood work and ultrasounds become more frequent on the injections. Also, because they need to monitor you for safety reasons, so you don't over stimulate your ovaries, it is rare but it happens.

So that is where we stand, we are moving on and we are bringing out the big guns! It is time to make this baby!

Negative, negative...

I haven't gotten my period yet, so I went ahead and had my blood test yesterday. Shockingly, the results came back very quickly but not shockingly the result was negative. The nurse said that my levels were still high though and I'll get my period in a couple of days. I am pretty disappointed. I was really feeling like this could be our month, well I guess that I feel that way every month. My doctors are confident, and I'm still optimistic if not exactly confident. It is hard to be confident when I have gone this long without getting pregnant.

If I was pregnant this cycle, then the timing would have been perfect. I am going to be a bridesmaid in the second weekend of August. Had I gotten pregnant this cycle, I would have given birth around the second weekend of July. If I get pregnant this upcoming cycle then my due date will be right around the second weekend in August, the wedding weekend! I totally felt like, if the timing was going to be this perfect then I would finally get pregnant. Like it would have been a nice little reward for this struggle, as it stands I have a feeling that if I ever get do pregnant it will be in the worst possible cycle and I'll be due on the exact day of my best friend's wedding. But beggars can't be choosers!